Just Say Goodbye!
It is a common saying that goodbyes are hard but I think that goodbyes may be hard on some occasions but not on all occasions.
I mean, will it be hard if I was saying it to Nigeria and her government at the entrance of a plane taking me to somewhere saner? Well…
However, there’s something else I have realized about goodbyes, and that is the fact that they can be an entire conversation.
It is why we drag our feet just in a bid to end a chat or phone call.
First, we start by saying “okay” and the other person says “alright”, then we add “yeah” and we get another “yeah” from the person on the other end. And it goes on like that, till someone pulls the bye-bye trigger.
No, goodbyes don’t always drag like this. Sometimes, they are swift!
I’d give you an example.
One time when I was younger and just having the courage to add extensions (attachment) to my hair, I went visiting a boy. It took courage to add the extensions because we were told then that extensions came from the deep sea and were gonna lead us right into hell with the devil, that’s right!
I was at the early stage of my rebellion with the church I was attending, so I went and added extensions. When going to church, I’d secure the braids under a scarf or beret so no one knew what was going on, boy! I wasn’t the only one and it was so much fun to do then.
However, on weekdays when there was no midweek service to attend, I’d strut across the city with my hair uncovered and it was on one of those days that I went visiting this boy who was a friend from church.
He welcomed me into their home with smiles and soon we were on the sofa — gisting. His mum was not meant to be home but unfortunately for us, me especially, she returned from work early.
Upon sighting my hair, she looked at me from my head to my toe and said “hello Jezebel, so you have the hair of the marine kingdom on your head? My sons will not fall for you.” After this, she proceeded to pray and bind and cast and thanked God for directing her home to save her son from a marine spirit. LMAO!
In my head, I was thinking, the only person “saved” here is me, cause apparently, my friend did not invite me to their house just to come and gist, you understand?
As soon as I had a chance to speak (because you do not interrupt a Yoruba woman when she’s still speaking), I looked at my friend and said goodbye — it was swift!
I don’t hesitate to say goodbye where I am not wanted abeg.
But, as I grew older, I began to realize that goodbyes can be an entire conversation lasting weeks, months, or years.
Accepting the reason for wanting to say goodbye could be an entire war on its own.
E.g. Breaking away from an addiction — this is a goodbye conversation on repeat. You say bye at night but you’re back together by daybreak. And so the cycle begins!
Sometimes, it’s leaving a relationship — especially one that no longer fulfills you, the goodbye conversation drags because memories of all that was invested won’t let you tender your final goodbye.
Funnily, a relationship can be your addiction.
I have been there.
I have been high on the goodness and beauty of what I had and even though the more I held on to it, the more I bled. I refused to say goodbye.
After fighting the war in my mind to accept the reasons why I had to say goodbye, I proceeded and said a thousand goodbyes but I never left.
You see, goodbyes can last as long as they get the chance to and it is always going to be up to you to decide to act immediately. Otherwise, errrmmm…
This reminds me of a childhood friend who would come to our house and when it was time for him to leave, I would follow him back home in the name of seeing him off. He would then walk me back to my house again, and so we would begin a journey of unending goodbyes until one of us would say a final goodbye and turn back without waiting to see if the other was coming along or not.
Goodbyes are hard but must be said when they should be said.
We could make it take forever but what’s going to hurt will hurt and the merry-go-rounds would be futile in the end.
So, if you’ve got any goodbye to say, stop dilly-dallying and bring the conversation to an end.
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Till the ember months, I love you!